The first time, I entered my school, I felt I was unprepared. I felt lacking. I felt I was incapable in the crowd of smart, well-rounded and diverse youngsters.
When I first saw my room, I felt whoa, whatta'. I guess it wasn't what I expected. Vandals everywhere, stickers posted at the walls, pale greenish spectrum painted around. When I saw it, I immediately wanted to transfer to another place. I thought I chose the wrong location. It was so hot. It was so uncomfortable. It was untidy in a way.
When we went to the city, I said, DARN, I am so away from the city. I felt away from the lights and the noise of the city, that I have always sought for. I cried while eating my lasagna in front of my family. How petty the reasons were. I said I wasn't at all amazed by the dirt of the CR which I am not used to. I wasn't comfortable with the place I'm staying. I felt like I have to compare every single detail that I have seen, though insignificant and petty, to the place where my sister once stayed. I felt everything that I expected went drastically wrong. Then I openly asked my mom if I can transfer and enroll in another institution. She then said, it was always up to me. She's just there to back me up.
Into Rm 24 I transferred. Though I felt afraid to again open my eyes into another horrific aura, I confidently knocked at the door of the room I would stay permanently. But unexpectedly, I smiled, relieved with what I saw. I guess I'm staying in one of the cleanest room in the place. Thanks to MAMA, PAPA and ATE>>everything went better.
I courageously accepted the battle. When they left me, I didn't feel the pain yet. I didn't feel any aches yet until finally I opened my room with three beds emptied and unoccupied, that's the time I cried my heart out.
Hours of loneliness. No talks. No chatters. Nothing.
Then I decided to come down and mingle. But I can't seem to start any conversation.
But yes, I made acquaintances. But they went home immediately.
Until the night when I was searching for a staff to give me the key, the counter was empty. With no one to talk to, I hesitantly ask the people outside and they end up understanding the language I can speak. Instantly, we became friends. Because of them, I met more people. Until I end up meeting and knowing all of them at the dorm.
I'm very much happy to know them.
Though, I met scary professors. I know I'm in for a great challenge. But still I'm happy that at least, they are the reasons why the doubts, eeries, dilemmas and all, lessen. They helped me somehow. However, I'm still frightened by the battle I'll be having, at least I know I have a troop to back me up.
Not all first impressions are right. And sometimes, strangers become reliable friends.